"The sad thing is, we spend the first half of our lives planning the future, and the second half reliving the past."
Recently I have been a little down on myself.
We all have those days (or weeks) where we just feel... blah. I consider myself to be a person with great depth and it can be a struggle to contain my emotions at times. The past few months I have let my emotions get the best of me and I began to let my sadness pull me slowly into a depression.
The word "depression" is so serious and can mean so many things. For me it's having trouble being optimistic when I have the world at my fingertips, it's feeling empty when I have nothing but love and support surrounding me, it's being gently coerced into a feeling of numbness and darkness when my life is generally full of light! In my high school years I struggled with my emotions, but I am proud to say that over the years I have gained sustainable control over them.
Since I started dating Mark over 7 years ago, I haven't really had any bouts with depression or intense sadness, until this year. I guess my failed interpretation of how my life should be by this point finally caught up with me. I've been having trouble excepting that no matter how hard I work towards my goals—if it isn't the right timing, it isn't going to happen. When I notice the overwhelming sensation of sadness start to creep up on me, I immediately begin doing small, easy things that make me smile. I basque in the simple pleasures life has to offer. For example, I will start taking Domino on longer walks in the evening, cooking more detailed dinners with fresh, flavorful ingredients, and looking through photo albums and reminiscing about the great adventures this life has taken me on.
Finally, I can continue on to the point of this post! Last week, while I was digging into the past, I found gold! I came across an entry I had written about a year ago and it gave me great satisfaction to revisit this moment in time.
While walking the dogs, an older man
approached Mark and I.
He said, "you are a great pair!". A little
surprised and very flattered, I
replied,"Well, thank you".
The man then explained, "I
lost my wife about three years ago—I can
finally say that without getting choked up.
We had 37 wonderful years together and it
makes me happy to see two young people in
love who look like they belong together". To
which I replied, "Wow, that is so sweet.
Thank you! We're getting married in
November and I hope we have just as many
wonderful years together as you and your
wife did". He told us, "I hope you have
even more than we did. I wish you a very
long and happy life together".
I thanked him again and as we walked
away, I may have teared up a bit.
He was so genuinely happy for us and
excited for our future. It brought him joy to
see love even though his wife was no longer
alive. It was a beautiful moment.
Returning to this day, I can still see the smile on his face. It made me think about how lucky I actually am. Things are not always going to go my way, but that should be my cue to stop and admire all of the beauty around me. I am grateful for my husband who adores me even when I am a wreck, my dog who loves me unconditionally no. matter. what., my family who continue to support me through even my craziest ideas, my friends who keep me grounded and push me to be a better person, my adventurous streak which has urged me to travel the world and explore, and finally, living in a country that allows me to do all of these things. With everything going on in the world these days it is easy to get sucked into all of the horrible things that happen every single day. My goal is to make a conscious decision—daily—to see the beauty
in the world, people, and situations, around me.
#faroeislands
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